Lucy Moving

I don't know what to say, Lucy is moving away. The one thing I thought would never happen is that she would be leaving Rutland. She is moving to Leicester.

There is nothing I can do about it. I'm gutted to be honest. It's like some just blew part of my world apart and what I wanted for Lucy and have for Emily and Catherine is being denied her. I was so happy to move out of Leeds and come to Rutland and buy a cottage in the country we dreamed off. I did it with joy. It was the best thing that I had done in my life. It was what I always wanted for my children to be brought up in a place where I didn't have to worry who or what they might encounter on the streets of the city. I knew by living in the countryside I could give them the freedom that children need to grow without the worry about what might happen to them. I also knew here they would get a better education and start in life than in any city.

I was told that Leicester was such a dive and we never went there because of that, preferring to go to the other large cities in the area if we need to. Now is Lucy moving away from this beautiful green countryside into a city with it's grey ex-council estates. It is just such a shock.

Anyone that even remotely knows me or has just read this blog will know how much I love Rutland and care about it. I have fallen in love with it and this where I want my family to grow up. Safe in the knowledge they come from one of the most beautiful and unspoiled places in England. It is what I want for all of them.

I knew there was something wrong when I dropped her off. I could just feel something was up. It seeping through my every being. I just didn't know it was going to be a bombshell like this.

I have been told it wouldn't affect contact but the reality is that I don't have the money to be going to Leicester and back four times a week. That is thirty plus pounds I don't have and I haven't got a clue were I can find the money and then there is the time with her that I will lose traveling. Anyone that read the recent posts will know that. How I'm going to do this I don't know.

I can't describe how I feel about all this. I'm just a bag of mixed emotions. all of them bad. I don't want Lucy to be brought up in a city. It is not why I moved to the country. It just not the place to bring kids up. They need space and fresh air to grow and become people.

Lucy had the chance to have that life and it feels like it is being taken away from her. I don't want it for her. I'm just passionate about bringing my children up in the best place possible. I won't give that belief up for anyone. I just want what is best for my children. Who would give that up. I don't want any of this, never did and still don't. Never in a million years.

[Edited 10 April 2010]

Short but Sweet

At last Lucy was well enough to come and see us again. I know for Emily and Catherine it had seemed like ages, as for me, I was just glad for the big cuddles I got and to see that she was alright after her visit to Hospital yesterday. I get so concerned about her.

I was so looking forward to being with her again. As soon as she was out of her mummy's house she ended up in my arms. She gave me one of the biggest cuddles she gives. It was like she didn't want to let go. I just had to stand there and wait for it to end outside her mummy's house. She was really pressing into me and holding me tight. There was noway she was going to let go until she was ready. 

Eventually, when we did get in the car and we started driving she started to speak. Soon, she was telling me all about her adventures in the swimming pool while she was away and I was asking how her cough had been. It seemed the cough had still been waking her and she had been sick while she was away, although it hadn't spoilt her holiday by all accounts. I was just glad she had a good time.

When we got to the supermarket we picked up some essential supplies before heading home listening to the radio. Capital FM was playing Price Tag by Jessie J which I love. Lucy asked if I liked and I said yes. I love the song, it just does it for me. I might even make her artist of the week sometime. I just need to hear more of her music to see if I would like it enough to listen to her first album.

When we got home Lucy was mobbed as soon as she came through the backdoor by Emily and Catherine. They were both so pleased to see her. She didn't have a choice but to go upstairs with them to play. Poor George didn't get a look in and he was left sitting at the bottom of the stairs wondering where she had gone without giving him a fuss. 

I went upstairs to join them and tidy Lucy's room while they played around me. Emily and Catherine were fulfilling their promise to play with Lucy and her dolls house. It was interesting listening to Lucy and how her play was developing. Her imagination is really taking hold. It is the way she is starting to make up stories and getting Emily and Catherine to play along and act them out with her. It is just lovely to see.

Soon, they all wanted to make the most of the sunshine of the morning and Emily suggested they go to the park. Of course Lucy wanted to take George. She loves taking him for a walk. With that agreed I put a coat on Lucy who was complaining of the cold to keep her warm and they all were heading out together with the dog. I gave them a time to get back and gave a camera to Catherine so she could get some pictures to remind them of their walk. I feel confident they are safe in the village and both Emily and Catherine took their phones just incase anything happened.

By the time they got back there was only about 10 minutes of our time with Lucy left. I had finished her bedroom while she was out and we sat chatting while she gave me a cuddle before signing her Mothers day card and heading back to Oakham. 

On the way back she was telling me all about her mummy having Harry Potter at home and when I ask if she liked it she replied back that she likes Peppa Pig. It was funny the way she said it, it was like what do you mean Harry Potter I only like Peppa Pig. It was so grown up and opinionated. 

I knew she didn't want to go home before we left, but what I didn't expect is her to start crying as soon as she got out of the car. It was the last thing I expected. I thought the excitement of giving her mummy her Mothers day card and present would have got rid of her disappointment of going back to Oakham after such a short space of time at home. It's not that she is unhappy at all with her mummy, I know that, I think is it just she wanted to stay longer.

Anyway, I managed to wipe away her tears and gave her a massive hug. In the end she walked back to the house with the card while I held the present for her. It felt funny taking her back after such a short time. Something wasn't right when I handed her back, I felt something and it wasn't good. I took this feeling back with me. It was so strong. I just had to sit and let it pass when I got back.

We had Lucy for a little over two hours. I wished as much as she did that she could have stayed longer but it was Mothers day and her mummy had other plans for her at half past twelve so I didn't have much choice. I couldn't spoil her mummy's plans. I was just so grateful to have her at all given what day it was and how important that day is to any parent be it mothers or fathers day. I just hope Lucy mummy liked her present and she has a nice day with her two lovely daughters.

[Edited 6 April 2010]

Lucy Update

It's now saturday evening and I have had an update on Lucy from her mummy. She has slept most of the day and that has done her the world of good. She is now a bit more like her normal self so hopefully we should get to see her tomorrow all being well. It's seems like it has been a long time and I know not seeing her has resulted in a boring day. I know Emily and Catherine have been missing her and so have I.

Lucy poorly again

Lucy hasn't been well for a while now. She has had one chest infection after another and been to the hospitial and doctors so many times I have lost count. I'm really starting to get concerend as it has gone on for so long now. I guess it is not helpped by they fact I can't see her and judge for myself and give her a cuddle, but I know she is safe with her mummy. I'm not sure what we will do with the day.

One Year On

Well here we are one year on form the original design of my fist blog and one day away from the first anniversary of the first post on the blog. Some thirteen thousand visits and in excess of three hundred post we are still going strong.

There was a time when I thought I would have to close the blog down but that is all past now. We are still here and I plan to be here a lot longer. It been great fun thinking up things to post and just generally posting about my children. I hope one day they see it as a record of the things we have been up to.

Although the Blogger page might not look as good as the original site it is easier to update, even to the extent that I can now post from my mobile phone if need be. Of course it is not without it's problems, it often inserts the incorrect tags into the code that have to be changed by hand and then there is the picture spacing issue. Hopefully these will be fixed sooner rather than later and I can getting on with blogging without having to adjust the layout.

So what of the future of the blog? Well, much of the same for now. I have loads of things I want to do on the web but I don't have the time to do them well. So for now I will develop these idea's and carry on blogging. If those idea's ever come to something you will be sure to hear about them here first. Partly because they will take my time away from the blog and that you should be the first to hear of these developments. 

It's been great fun writing the blog and it has achieved it's aim. I'm really looking forward to writing and sharing  what the next year brings and how the blog evolves to take account of it. Happy reading and thank you to the people that return again and again for your loyal support, there must be someone out there.