Happy Places

I guess like many people I read my horoscope although I'm not sure why. If they ever came true I been through the depths of hell, been promoted several times, been through several relationships and been on the way to get all I wanted in life until I returned to hell and so on. If you read your own horoscope you will know what I mean. If you life was like the horoscope you would be staring in your own soap opera.

Today's stars were rather interesting not because of the future they tried to predict more about what they said about life in general the human mind and the memories we have.

It was taking about the places or experiences we all have that put you in a state of serenity. It gave examples like being by the sea, simple things like just having a quiet cup of tea or coffee first thing in the morning, or special times. Anything that really brings you comfort and memories of happy times and contentment. It suggested that by thinking about these places we can get into the same state of mind as we were at the time those memories were formed, and that is what I should to be doing today to gain inspiration.

I know I have many of such memories, a few of them very very special while others just give me that nice feeling. The same sort of feeling I had in the park the other weekend when I just realised the pleasure of just sitting and watching the girls play. I'm sure we all have those memories and if you look within yourself and you think hard enough you will find something from the past that makes you smile and feel at peace. With those memories come a feeling restfulness and clarity, just like those that can be evoked by people that teach relaxation techniques. It is in this state that you see things without the rubbish that surrounds them as long as you can focus totally on the event itself. It is where you can find the truth if your mind isn't troubled and clear. It is this state the horoscopes talks about where inspiration can be found today.

For once I liked my horoscope for the reason I could see the benefits of what they were saying. I'm not sure I did well at finding inspiration but I did find that restful place. For some things I need a miracle and I don't think I will find the solution to those, well not just yet, but it might help me see things clearly. It's not something I going to give up on as I idea. I remember the benefits on mediation and anything is worth a try.

[Picture Credit: Unknown]

The Coming Days

 I'm not sure what I going to do with the blog over coming days or what I will write about without the girls around to help inspire me. I know I want to catch up on some of the missing posts if I can I have started that with the post for last Monday. So please look out for those. They will be mainly the missing posts for July and June although I might get round to doing some from earlier in the blog if I have time, I know I did some for way back a few weeks ago.

This coming Monday will see the return of Artist of the Week a week earlier than planed. You will see why when I publish the post. I know I have another the second of the Churches around Rutland series to post. These are quite time consuming so this might be slotted into the blog if takes more than a day's worth of free time. Generally things come up and I guess I will write about those. I just don't want to make the blog to negative so I will probably not write much if anything about the family and Lucy even if it is always on my mind and never goes away.

[Picture Credit: Raptor Politics]

All Gone

Well it that time of year when Emily and Catherine go to their mums for a while and today was the day they headed up north to Leeds to stay with her. So just before midday we set off up the A1 to meet her half way and drop the girls off until Sunday week. I just hope they have a great time because they both deserve it.

Given they won't be hear for the next 9 days or so it won't be until they get back that I see Lucy again. I just want them to see as much of her as possible as well as myself and in order to do that I need balance all the costs involved against every ones needs. I'm going to miss Lucy just as I will miss her sisters while they are away, but I know that I don't have any choice in the matter. It is how it is now and I would be lying if I didn't say it hurts.

For me it a chance for a rest and some reflection on life, and there is a lot to think about and stuff to work out some of which I think will never understand because I have no way of asking the questions or resolving the issues I now face. All I know is my world still seems messed up at times from stuff from the past and a lot of it doesn't make sense.

Busy Day

Weather wise it has been a lovely day. The sun has been out and the temperature reached the mid twenties for the first time in what seems ages. It would have lovely to gone out somewhere but alas their wasn't the money of the time even to go for a walk. It's just been a busy day for me at least, but has to be a good thing with all that is going on in my head. 

Emily went to see her friend Millie and had a great day with her going round Oakham and just generally having fun at her house. As for Catherine she had a much quieter day but she didn't seem to mind too much and enjoyed just having some space for herself. My one regret was I didn't get to take out Catherine with George, like said I wanted to yesterday. It would have been nice to have spent some time with her alone. At least it wasn't all negatives today and the day for the girls ended on a high note laughing and playing games on the xbox. It was nice to hear them laugh.

I wish I could do more with the children but at the moment my spirit seems broken. I hope when they get back from their time with their Mum that we can a better time, even if it is just going for walks and appreciating the beauty that surrounds us. I just want all of them to have a nice time and great summer. I just wish I could do more with them.

Another Day

Another day much like the last. Nothing much to report. Thankfully the girls found themselves things to do but nothing is much better. It should be enjoyable for them and it's not and I feel guilty about that.

At least tomorrow is another day. I just don't feel I can do anything. Hopefully the feeling will pass soon because I just fed up of it. Lets hope the last day the girls are here are more productive. I know Emily is off to see her friend so I hope I can do something with Catherine even if it is just taking the dog for a walk. Nothing changes.

A None Day

Although Emily and Catherine are on school holiday it has been one of those none days where just not much has happened and it has been so quite. Just one of those days, I guess.

I didn't even get round to writing the blog posts from Lucy visits. A happy time which generated lost of fun and noise. In fact the whole day has been like the weather, grey. It been quiet a contrast to the last few days, but at least at the days end there was some sunshine and lets hope that produces at least better weather for tomorrow.

Happy, Fun and Sad

Today didn't start off sunny. It was one of those grey mornings but at least it wasn't cold and there was a little promise of some sun later in the day in the weather forecast, which came a little too late.

It was Emily that heard lucy little shout of "Daddy" in the morning and whisked her away for herself. I found them when George started barking when Emily friend Millie arrived for the day. There were all the bedroom playing and Millie was early, but soon as we guessed who it.

Everyone went down to welcome her and Lucy despite her excitement just went all shy. Thankfully it didn't take her long to come round and charm Millie with her smile. Soon they were all in the family room and the house was full of noise of happy voices. A sound I will never tire of.

In the excitement there was only one taker for breakfast and that was Lucy. She never seems to miss the chance of some food. She even stayed to finish it when the other girls headed out to the park and later we followed them chatting as we walked alone the road.

It is was lovely in the park just watching the girls play. It wasn't sunny but that didn't seem to matter. For a moment I felt free and that what mattered most. As for them there was the freedom of playing somewhere that is safe and where they could just have fun without any of the worries in their little lives.

One things that Lucy missed out on, we all did, was the cherries in the park. They have all been eaten by the birds and this year we didn't even have one. Thankfully though the blackberry season is upon us and while we were at the park to girls took the chance to feast on berries around the allotments. Of course they also remembered the raspberry bush at the side Lucy's mummies old allotment and so some of those got eaten too.

When I was young I use to wonder why people sat on parks when there was so much rushing about to do, today I understood. There is so much more to life than rushing about and if you don't stop once in a while and think then you might just miss something. I love so much and so many people and I love life despite all the trobbles it can bring. What was lovely today was seeing all four girls just having a good time and those troubles just melted away for a moment and that makes you feel free.

Once home we headed out to the shops to get some lunch. Millie had brought a pizza with her so that became the natural choice for a meal, specially knowing how much all the children love them.  Also they are relatively quick to cook which meant everyone could get the maximum enjoyment out the time we had left with Lucy as well as Millie.

Soon the pizza was all gone and empty plates returned to the kitchen and the girls settled down to play in the family room. One of the things I had got out the night before was the one of the old X boxes and all the old games I had for it. I know that Emily and Catherine still likes to play some of therm and I guessed right that Millie did too. Lucy didn't seem to mind to much and she just either tried to join in or play with who ever wasn't playing a game at the time.They all sounded like they had a grand  time from the noise coming from the family room and that is what matters most.

This nicely took them up to the middle of the afternoon when Millie finally had to return home after having a good time from the feedback I got from Emily. This left a couple of hours for Emily, Catherine and Lucy to play together while I got everything washed, dried and ready for Lucy's departure after her bath. She wasn't to dirty but we thought it best to make sure she was all shiny and clean. They played so nicely together for a while before Emily started feeling a little left out went on the computer as Catherine made the most of Lucy's time. Emily wasn't to going to be left out totally and managed to acquire the job of bathing Lucy by herself. Something I know can be great fun from experience.

With Lucy dry and dressed it came time for Lucy to leave and the girls said goodbye until they meet again. It was lovely watching  them all giving her kisses and cuddles. And so it was with her bag of things and the late birthday presents for her sister that we set off to take her back with Lucy chatting all the way. I will never trier of her little voice.

Driving to Leicester was strange. As we approached the city I noticed Lucy point things out, places she goes to or her other sister, Mary, goes to. It like she wants to include me in her life. What hurts is I can't be part of that life. I want to be because she is my daughter and I love her, but it isn't possible. I don't know anything of it or can't even call her. I never felt this way with Emily and Catherine but then I was never cut off like this and I never cut off her mother. I am powerless to do anything about without any effective communication method or being able to talk and have my feelings understood or taken into account.

With Lucy dropped off in Leicester with her mummy's boyfriend and as we drove off we saw people peering through the windows and curtains of the house, which felt rather strange. It wasn't a happy walk back to the car or drive for me. It was all quite emotional. To say I miss the access I had is an understatement. I just think not talking isn't a option and we are affecting a child's life. This is so unfair of her and everyone involved.

When we got home the house was quiet and remained the same way for the rest of the evening after dinner. Emily and Catherine caught up with the programmes they love to watch before eventually heading off to bed and soon the day ended.

I'm not sure when we will be seeing Lucy again. I want it to be when Emily and Catherine are here so they can all be together. I know it will be over two weeks away. This summer isn't going to be what I expected of it, I know that much, and I just feel for everyone. At least we had a good weekend and at the end of the day that is what matters and that is what I need to focus on. Just wish I didn't feel sad about the mess that I'm experiencing now from someone who I once made the focused my dreams and my future.

A Lovely Day

I don't know how better to describe today than just lovely. Although the weather wasn't as nice as I might have wanted it was fine, warm and it didn't rain. Given the weather we have been having that is pretty good and it meant we could get out and about.

The first sound I heard in the morning was a little voice calling out "Daddy". When I got into Lucy room she looked through the blinds and add "it's sunny". Not only was it nice to hear her call my name in the morning but it was even better when she said the sun was out. 

Lucy gathered all her things together and we headed downstairs and she sat herself down in my chair and waited while I made her a cup of tea and myself a coffee. As we woke up we sat together and watched Wallace and Gromit on the iBook while we drank our drinks. I love those little short films and I'm just glad she likes them too.

Just after Lucy had moved in to the family room to look through her toys Catherine appeared from her land of dreams and made some breakfast for Lucy and herself. After which they both sat down together with George to watch TV. They later were joined by Emily when she eventually surfaced just in time to miss breakfast, but she is nearly a teenager and getting her to eat breakfast is almost impossible at the moment. It is funny she will eat all you can put her way after lunch and until bedtime, just not breakfast. Anyway they had a grand time for an hour or so before I headed out with the younger of the two girls.

Lucy said the day before she wanted to visit the Church and the park, but given it was a Sunday and the service was still going on when we left the house it had to be the park first and the church if there was time. As it turned out there wasn't time to visit the church but we did have lots of fun in the park. Catherine asked Lucy to show me what they were doing when they were there together the day before and Lucy agreed. Weeks ago I was trying to get Lucy to run to the top of the bicycle ramp and it seems she has nearly mastered it and she has now learnt to grab peoples hands to pull her up before sliding down. I was so proud of her and she was proud of herself which matters even more. I love watching her growing up. When they got down the other end of the park they showed me the other games they had played the day before. It was just a joy to watch them having fun.

Eventually time ran out on us and we had to return home to get some lunch. What I love about all the children is none of them ever really complain, especially Lucy given her age. Once home I made everyone some sandwiches which they all ate together with giggles and laughs. It was just what I wanted to hear again coming from the family room. 

With lunch out of the way we headed to the county park in Melton. Somewhere that all the girls can have some fun and the bonus was we could take George as well. The first port of call was the park with the aerial runway that we had been some many time before last summer. Once again Emily and Catherine had fun in the wooded play area. Lucy joined in their fun climbing up the road ladders with a certain amount of confidence until she got to as high as she could before realising she couldn't get down. Once finished there they all went off with Lucy to help her enjoy the smaller children's play area much to the amusement of a lady sitting on a near by picnic bench. It was especially funny watch Lucy sliding down hand in hand the slide with Emily while wearing her shoes. Her feet looked massive. Of course George didn't miss out on the fun and he was taken for a walk by both Emily and then Catherine while we were their to sniff the trees.

Once we were finished there we weren't quite done with the county park. We had seen pictures of another play area on the internet and we were determined to find and we did. It was more of a conventional park but with some play items we hadn't found in parks before including a climbing wall that Emily and myself scaled, a rather lovely slide that Lucy loved and a rather strange version of the spinning wheel that can be found many parks like the one in Oakham that simply made Catherine scream.  It was a fun play area and something I don't think we will miss out on next time we have the fuel to go there and the girls are together.

 

Time ran out on us as it always seems to do when we having fun and we had to return home for dinner. While I cooked all the girls played before we all sat down together to eat. It was great fun at the table with the girls making each other laugh. We didn't have anything special but everyone enjoyed it and they all loved their pudding. Then again what child or teenager doesn't love pudding. Seems that mine are no exception to this rule.

Once dinner was out of the way the girls all went off together to the family room to play together until Lucy's bedtime. Emily and Catherine tried to watch some television but Lucy wasn't having any of that and soon had them involved in her games until it was time for bed and up the stairs she headed. With Emily and Catherine both reading her stories followed by one of my own she fell asleep after her kisses and cuddles. It was so lovely later to pop into her room to check she was ok to see her in her bed again. I miss checking the girls now Emily and Catherine are older and with Lucy for different reasons.

With Lucy safely tucked up in bed Emily and Catherine got to watch television at last and unwind from the day. I know they just they had a great day and it was something we were looking forward to and it didn't disappoint. When they went to bed I know their were three happy children in the land of dreams.

There not much else to say about the day than it has been really lovely to have the girls together and see them smiling and playing. I have really had a great day with them. Something I really missed since Lucy moved to Leicester and we don't see her so much. I wish everyday could be like this.

Lucy Returns

What can I say other than it is amazing to have Lucy back home again after all these weeks. I have missed her around the house and to have her here again is just lovely and boy has she grown in those four weeks.

All day we had all been waiting for Lucy to arrive hoping that the bad weather hadn't stopped her mummy going to what she was doing in Rutland. It was really hard shopping not knowing what was going on so as we hadn't heard anything, in the end we decided she was coming. It was all we could do. As the time approached for her to arrive the girls set off down the walk to great her. Her mummy was meant to text when they arrived but must have forgot because the girls met up with Lucy on the road leading to the walk.

I heard them coming back down the walk and went out to see a beaming Lucy in Emily's arms. I didn't it was possible for her to beam more until she saw me and I took her in my own arms. It was so lovely to hold her again. I hadn't seen her for fifteen days and the girls hadn't seen her for just short of four weeks. When we got in the house she just sat on my lap and cuddled into me and smiled. She didn't say a word she just sat there and when Emily and Catharine tried to coax her off my lap she just leaned back even harder into me she wasn't going anywhere. Everyone was pleased to see her and George wouldn't leave her side.

Eventually the call of the family room and all the things in there was stronger pull than sitting on my lap and off she ran to see her toys before running upstairs with Emily and Catherine with her blanket to her bedroom. All we could hear from upstairs was girls enjoying themselves and making lots of noise to boot. It was a welcome sound after so long. There is nothing like hearing them all having fun.

As I cooked dinner Catherine and Lucy headed out to the village park. Lucy had put her shoes on the wrong feet and when Catherine insisted that she put them on the right feet but Lucy said it didn't matter. What was funny though, was she then went on to say if you are that bothered then you put them on me, before kicking them off and laying down on the floor. They got back just before I finished cooking and Catherine reported back that they had to go and look for the horses. I thought that was rather sweet because the last Saturday Lucy was here we went to watch the polo march in the field near park so Lucy could see the horses. I was so pleased she remembered, it was a lovely day, magical in fact, and I promise I will finish the blog post of it soon, it is only missing post from last month. 

The fun continued into dinner. It was funny when Lucy told Catherine off for being naughty and she did. When she tried the same thing with Emily, Emily just said "I didn't do anything' and put on a sad face, so Lucy just said she was beautiful. It was a lovely moment and funny too, and Emily just replied that she was beautiful too. It was nice to have them all round the table.

With dinner over it was soon time for Lucy to go to bed. Nobody had really been watching the time and so after Lucy had her pudding there was just ten minutes left before bedtime. She used it wisely play after I had caught her to clean up her face from the chocolate pudding. 

Once upstairs we got her into the bedtime routine, missing out her bath for time reasons. We will put in the bath tomorrow night. The stories telling started off with a story from Catherine, followed in style by Emily and I managed to find Q Pottle 5 to finish her stories for the night. After her kisses and cuddles from everyone one she loves she fell asleep like she had never been away.

I'm sorry there isn't many pictures but I was to busy joining in the fun to take them. It has really been lovely having here home again and I just can't wait for the next couple of days. The place felt almost complete. 

Amy Winehouse Dies

The trouble singer and talent Amy Winehouse has been found dead at her home according to press reports. It would appear that the London Ambulance Service had been called to the flat at 1554 today. They sent two vehicles but they were to late and she died at her home.

Although the singer cause of death is unknown at the moment it seems likely that she lost her long battle with drink and drugs and it is this that finally took her life. In recent years this overshadowed her musical career with her appearing drunk on stage and mumbling through parts of her songs. It so sad to lose someone so young and so talented. Clearly she was a tortured and troubled soul. She will be missed by many including me.

No Waitrose for Oakham

Well it seems that Waitrose has decided to pull out of talks to buy the site of the Rutland County College owned by Tresham Institute and redevelop it into a supermarket.  It seemed in recent votes that this was the Rutland County Councils preferred choice for the site of a third supermarket in the town other than building an out of town supermarket on the edge of the town.  

People still seem to be under the impression that we need a competitor to Tescos in the town but because of regional pricing the products in Tescos in Oakham are no different from that in other towns that do have more competition and choice. Having an ASDA store or a Sainsburys store wouldn't affect the prices at Tescos because it there isn't such thing as local pricing. For those that want a real range of choice then we need a low end supermarket in the town because that is the one thing we are missing not another middle or high end store.

The fact that Waitrose has pulled out of redeveloping the site is going to leave the County Council with a big problem. They planning to move the college to the EEF training and conference centre just outside Oakham with money that according to a local newspaper report was going to be gifted from Tresham if the sale went through. It seems now they will have to find the money themselves from an ever decreasing budget. 

As for the former college site, unless it is purchased by retail chain, it is likely to end up as more hosing when it is sold off to a developer by Tresham who are also selling the adjacent Barleythrope Road Field which people are trying to save. What gets me is the fact it could mean more housing as if we didn't have enough planned already by Rutland County Council.

Good News

Well at last a little bit of good news on the Lucy front. She is coming to stay for a couple of nights and I'm so looking forward to it and I know everyone else is to. I can't wait to have her in the house again and sleeping in her room.

It seems that Lucy Mummy is visiting to Rutland weather permitting and she offered to drop Lucy off on Saturday evening so she can stay here until Monday evening when I take her back to Leicester. It might not be a solution to problem long term but it is more than welcome. You should have seem Emily's and Catherine's faces light up when they heard. All we have to do now is hope the weather is fine.

Catherine Moves On

Well here we are at the end of the week with Catherine's last day at Langham School. She has had a great day with her friends one of whom she will see for the last time and I know she doesn't want to leave.

It doesn't seem that long ago that she started school but she has really grown in that time in so many ways. Despite all she has been through she is growing up in to a lovely person. Life hasn't been easy for her for at times for many reasons and some people that have mattered to her have come and gone from her life, but despite that she has done so well. I'm sure that come mid autumn that she will be conformable and achieving new highs in her new school, once she is use to the size,

Lucy Postponed

Well today we were meant to be seeing Lucy but with the school Holidays and the dates Emily and Catherine are going away it was best to postpone going to see her today.

As the way things stand I can only make the one trip as I feared and there is a distinct possibility if things aren't sorted that girls would see each other until early September. A gap of over two months. It was for that reason I changed the day and thankfully her mummy agreed. At least now they will get to see her too and that was something Lucy wanted last time we saw her. The only thing, other than coming home with me, was she wanted to do was see George. This situation is not what I want and I am missing her dreadfully.

Leavers Assembly

Today it was Catherine's turn to be part of the the "Leavers Assembly" at Langham Primary School. An event that moves both the students and the parents alike and I was no exception to that rule. It was a wonderful event.

It probably best though if I just repeat what Catherine had to say about her time at the school, like I did last year in my post about Emily's Leavers Assembly.

My time at Langham has been amazing. I remember my first day Annie, Cassandra and Lilly all trying to be my friends, I made really great friends with Annie and Cassandra. I also remember my first birthday party at Langham. I didn't know many people so I invited all the girls. 

In year 4 I fell out with Annie and Cassandra, although I don't know how. Then a new girl Isabel came and we became best friends. When she left I was really upset. But Lily cheered me up. I remember we went to the sports festival, me and Lily were hungry so we kept pretending there was food all over the place. It was really funny then she left at the end of the year. I was upset but year 4 was fun.

In year 5 I made friends with Georgina, Zoe and Jasmine. In year 5 we went on a lot of trips. I enjoyed our trips. In April a new girl Eleanor came and we became best friends. About a month later we had a funny argument, although it wasn't funny at the time. I remember there was the scoobies thief in year 5, me, Chole, Eve and Caitlin tried to find out who it was.

Finally it comes to year 6. I will miss everyone here in my class. I loved going to Manor it was a once in a life time experience.  I will miss lots of people but I will miss Eleanor a lot and I hope she enjoys living in Saudi.

I will miss you Langham and I will not forget you so don't forget me.

Although Catherine didn't win any awards like Emily she did deserve one for how well she did in mathematics this year and even if they didn't give her an award I was so proud of all the hard work and what she has achieved.

I was left thinking at the end of the Assembly what a good school it is and how well both Emily and Catherine have done there and that is a credit to all the staff. It is just so sad that they will be the last of my children to go through this wonderful school. It is such a lovely place, the staff are so caring and atmosphere of the whole school is so friendly. I can't praise the school enough.

Looking Back

It had been quiet a week for catherine and for me for that matter. One can't help looking back at times like these and one thing is for sure writing a blog makes that easier.

Like Emily and Catherine my years basically follow the same holiday patten with the year ending around the same time. So in may ways this is a good time to reflect on the year. It has been quiet some year to be honest as was the year before that in fact.

This time last year we had more money and we were able to do so much more. We had better food, we went out more and we did more because of that. Life was less repetitive than it is now and we could afford the odd surprise or trip out to somewhere special. That all changed at the end of the summer when the effects of the recession cut into my working week cutting down the hours I work. That wasn't helpped by my desire to be part of Lucy's life which restricted the days I could work without losing out on her. I know everyone has paid for that but we loved every minute of having her with us and that make it worth it. Family is so important.

Things are so different now. Money is so tight and because that the things we can now do seem so limited and sometimes things are repetitive, like the food we eat. Everyone gets fed but little things are missing and the food is often uninspiring and that is so hard when I love to cook. The surprises have gone in what we do, but we are becoming good fun things to do that costs no money and at least we still have fun. Things aren't what the were and I miss having that little bit extra to spend on entertainment but what can you do. I never thought this time last year things would be like this.

Things have certainly changed over the last year, but then if I go back two years and bit years ago then thing are so different you wouldn't think I was living the same life. Back then I was working full time for two different colleges and in contact time I was doing more work than a normal college lecture and working the equivalent of nearly forty five hours. This was coupled with getting interviews for full time jobs and then around now that all changed as did my life style and expectations. Things were so bright and the prospects good.

What will the coming year bring is hard to say at the moment especially given what is happening with my main employer. Given the Lucy situation I might as well work as many days as I can, for ever I can, as long as it covers the petrol to get me to work and leaves a little over to pay the bills. It is not that I want to this as I would rather have the contact with Lucy. I value seeing my family more than work if I can manage the balance but that has been taken away from me. Just look at the contact I have now and I can't see that improving without the lack of meaningful communication, despite what happened today. It's not fair that I have to hear about things that affect my daughter from others and I can talk to her when I can't see her. 

Anyway I'm getting off the point, the worse case is that I don't find any work then I lose Lucy altogether because there is no way I will be able to see her and feed Emily and Catherine and then how will they get to Leeds. That is not a path I want to go down or intend to take. I just there wasn't so much uncertainty but I guess without it life would be boring.

It will be interesting to see what the next year brings and I hope it ends better than this one. For this one has ended on a low in many ways. Going from the access I had with Lucy to have what I have now is a killer. I will get use to because I have to not because i want to. I always wanted to play an active part in her life. If I didn't I would never have had a child. I'm naturally an optimist, and although tired, I believe there good to be found in everything even at times like this. There is a solution of the problems of today if you believe. 

If I said I didn't have regrets I would be lying, but that will always be the case and the nothing I can do about it. I just have to get on with being me and doing the things I do; loving the people that matter most in my life.

Wicksteed Park

Catherine's exciting week continued with a well deserved trip to Wicksteed Park.  It was just a shame about the weather which was so far from being like summer and more what you would expect from mid autumn.

By all accounts she had a great time and the money they raised even went as far as buying them all a ice cream. It appears the favorite ride was the roller coaster which extracted screams of delight from the girls. I'm glad she had a good time after all the hard work she has put in this year. 

Into the Lime Light

In all the time that Catherine has been at school so far she has never stepped on to the stage  when ever there has been a school play. Today was the day when that all changed for tonight she stepped into the lime light.

She had a part in the year 6 school play "The Rocky Monster Show" a spoof of the hit musical "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". I must admit they did a fine job of entertaining us all for just over an hour and a bit. It was great fun and when I heard Catherine's voice I was amazed how clear her lines were and how well she delivered them. I really don't know why she has been hiding in the shadows for so long because she did a fine job and all credit to her for getting on the stage in the first place. She clearly loved every minute of it and that was lovely to see.

Barleythorpe Road Field

Further development madness in Oakham seems a certainty if Barleythorpe Road Field is sold off to a developer by Tresham Institute who currently own the land. Unless a way is found to save this piece of land then like other green area around it will become another victim to the crazy development sickness that has taken hold of Rutland County Council.

Although one of the Town Councilors proposed to save this piece of land for the Oakham he was soon shot down, but that is no surprise, after all the Oakham Town Council seem to have no real power and their views are ignored by the County Council which does what it wants. Thankfully some of the people of Oakham aren't about to give up like the Town Council and they have formed a Facebook group to save the land for recreational use. You can join the group is called "Save Barleythorpe Road field, Oakham" which you can get to by clicking the link. I would urge anyone that loves Oakham to join their cause and their group. They even have a online petition you can sign too, once again all you have to do is click on the link.

Personally I think it is important that we preserve as much open space in Oakham given what the Rutland County Council and Hawksmead are planning to do the town. Our children will not thank us for sitting around seeing their heritage destroyed.

Army Base for Cottesmore

After much speculation about what was to become of the RAF Cottesmore after the Royal Air Force leave the base in 2012 it was today announced that the base would be taken over by the army.

Personally I would rather the base had remained as a active RAF base preserving the history of the site and allowing flying to continue, however that was never going to happen with the Government determined to off selling at a loss one of the most versatile aircraft in service. 

Having a army base at least will provide some employment for local people on the site and bring income into the county, which is better than it closing altogether as many people feared would happen. Will it be as good for the county as the RAF base was, I guess only time will tell. Just let us hope this isn't a political smoke screen and that after more cuts in a few years time the army base is closed down or turned in to some reservist training camp.

Well Done Emily

A few weeks ago Catherine came home with the results of her year 6 tests. Today it was Emily's turn to put a smile on my face as she brought home her end of year report.

I was amazed at the level she is working at, especially mathematics where she is already at level 7 and she is only in year 7 with the school predicting she will reach the highest level by the time she finishes there, with ease by the looks of things. There are subjects she needs to improve on on a little but I know she has it in her given that the expected level for most subjects is a 7 with the odd 6 is looking out of place. She just has get the balance right in her head of not being a nerd, as she see it, and achieving her goals. Well done Emily.

Catherine's Last Week

Well today sees the start of Catherine's last week at the local village school. I can't praise the school high enough for all that they have done for both Emily and Catherine. They really have been wonderful.  It has really given them the start educationally they need for the rest of their time at school and I'm just so glad they got to go to a village school.

She has a really busy week ahead. Tonight it the leavers school Disco, followed by the Year six play on Tuesday, on Wednesday the visit to Wicksteed Park, on Thursday the leavers assembly and finally on Friday there will be tears and joy as all of year 6 move onto Big Schools around Rutland. It will be quite a week for her if Emily's last week at the school was anything to go by.

The Apprentice - Final

Well what a strange series of the The Apprentice that turned out to be mainly because Alan Sugar was looking for someone to start a business with rather than someone to employ. Not that this distracted from the show itself just that it made what lead up to the final not match with what he was looking for. The whole concept of the show is based are around finding business people but what he was looking for was a completely different kettle of fish.

What we were left with in the final was really a mixed bag of individuals only one of which fitted the old apprentice mold and in any normal series who would have won hands down against the the others. That wasn't to be tonight. The final show was based around the interview process rather than a final task process that has been used for years. As the show unfolded it soon become clear that you just couldn't guess what was going to happen with everyone taking a grilling and their business plans being ripped to bits. 

It was only once you got into the board room you had an idea where the show was going. It was then that you got the impression that Alan Sugar was looking for someone with ideas rather than business or sales skills which the show was set up to find. That meant two of the candidates went out of the window especially since one of them in the end started to come across as a sycophant by trying to gain favor by making Alan Sugar a figure head of his idea. That just left two people who fitted the new mold for this years winner.

What was surprising was that Susan Ma one of those people that had the skills Alan Sugar wanted went first which left Tom Pellereau, once smooth talking Jim Eastwood had gone, against Helen Milligan. Helen was of course the person that would have won the show any other year and I'm felt if Alan Sugar could have changed the format of the show he would have hired her, as it was, it was on the cards that Tom would win and that is exactly what happened. 

I have always liked Tom Pellereau as a character in the show there was something different about him but his business skills were never going to make him a winner any other year, but in the final task he did mange to excel with his design idea's, I think in the end his likability, his inventive mind and design skills won the day. He has guts and he tries hard and I think with the focus Alan Sugar will demand of him it could work out well for him and the business they start together. 

Lucy Situation Update

Some people have been asking privately what has been happening about seeing Lucy. Well the answer is nothing has changed. 

There is no communication about the matter at all that is effective and so there is still no resolution. Although grateful for the earlier offers of extra time the problem of the cost of doing all the driving still remains despite the assurances that access wouldn't be affected. As for the weekend that is coming up that I should have her I'm still trying to workout how to afford to bare all the cost. Although I will see her on Friday I'm not hopeful at the moment that I will be seeing over the weekend.

I believed the person I had a child with believed in families as much as I do. I trusted that person and still do although I feel her actions are sometimes miss guided for various reasons which can't be helped. There is a solution to this problem but while there is this lack of communication then the whole thing will remain a mess.  It is time to build bridges and move on for the sake of our little one.

I didn't realise the date when I started this post but I do now and I hope someone can remember the things that were said that day before it all turned bad. It was a day when I believe someone spoke the truth, before the person that I cared for most in the world seemed to change and be taken away from me within a couple of days, and then the trouble started.