Friday without Lucy

I'm starting to miss seeing Lucy but there is nothing I can do about and that is a fact. I just don't have the money to get her from Leicester and take her back. I'm grateful for all the flexibility in seeing her that has been offered but at the moment I can only assume that there is still no compromise on the driving so it looks like this state of affairs will continue for a while.

It is just a shame we don't communicate, although I'm willing. When I told Lucy's mummy that I couldn't pick her up, via a text sent from the home phone, I just got a text back saying "ok". I felt like replying "that it is far from ok, it's a bloody mess". In the end I stopped myself. 

I just hope we can find a way forward, after all there is a common interest in all this, Lucy. It is just going to take some time to workout. There must be a solution that works and that is fair. Clearly, I will never get the unaltered access I had to Lucy while she is 25 miles away. It is just not practical since two round trips to Leicester is nearly 3 hours driving in a single day. However, we should be able to get something close in the end if we work at it.

Of course I will probably be taking all the blame for this, but I'm use to that now. I know some of the things that have been said about me and I know they are far from fair, but at least I understand reasoning behind it all and I have the power to forgive. 

I won't bother saying how I feel about all this because I bet you can guess. At the end of the day all I want to do is to be able to see my daughter and look after the other people I care about. It is simple really. I never wanted this and I wasn't the only one that messed it up, but I know that you have to know when to say sorry for what you have done wrong.