Strange Tuesday

Once again it was another day without Lucy. I had to cancel last night because there isn't the money for the petrol to get even there let alone back again. I'm missing not seeing her and that is a fact, just as much as the fact that this is not my doing, however some people might try and blame me.

It is hard not seeing Lucy or knowing anything about what she is doing and I know Emily and Catherine are missing her. Using the home phone for text's out of the question to sort things out because of the cost and unless we get an email from Lucy's mummy then there will be no long term agreed solution to seeing her, if that is even possible. I'm just hoping I can sort out some money to at least see Lucy for a bit on Friday. I feel so bad for letting her and her sisters down but I just don't have the money and that is end of it and I am working to find what savings I can.

Catherine visits VC

It will soon be time for Catherine to leave Langham Primary School and move onto bigger things. This is her last year there and summer holidays will soon be upon us and her time at her current school will be over.

Today she went with her class to the Vale of Catmose College in Oakham which come September will be her new school. I was a bit worried that she would find it all so big after being in a village school but in the end she said it was fine and she enjoyed her day. Her only concern was their were none of her friends in her form but I did my best to reassure her that she would soon make new ones. I remember being in the same situation myself when I changed schools but within weeks I had made new ones. I know she just going to be fine there it is a good school and I know she will do well.

St Peter's Church - Allexton

There is plenty to do around Rutland that is free if you care to seek out some of the treasures that are often overlooked by most people. Sometime ago we started visiting some of the old churches that can be found in and around the county whose doors are often open so you can look around. One such church we visited sometime ago is St Peter's Church in Allexton which is a small village near Uppingham.

The Church is no longer used and it is maintained by the Church Conservation Trust. As such, like the church in Edmondthorpe, featured in the an earlier post, it seems to have been left in a time warp. Just walking in through the door just takes you back in time. Maybe not back to Victorian times like the church in Edmondthorpe but still back to the early to middle of the twentieth century when electric light was first fitted to the church.

The Church dates from the twelfth century and it's most important feature is the Norman north arcade, a set of arches leading to the north aisle, dating back to about 1160. Over the years parts have been added to the church such as the tower in the fifteenth century. Like many churches of this age a lot of careful restoration took place in the nineteenth century including the preservation of the the north arcade which was in need of repair.

The fabric of the building is constructed of stone with Welsh slate roofs. There is a nave with north and south aisles, a chancel with a north porch, and a west tower. In the southern facing part of the roof over the nave there are two two-light dormer windows which let light into what would be dark interior. It is not clear when these widows were added but looking at them would seem they are a much later addition to the church. Both the north and the side of the chancel have two windows making this part of the church seem much brighter than rest of the church. In the north aisle there are windows contain plate tracery which would date that part of the church before the thirtieth century. 

Looking at the oldest part of the church, the Norman north arcade, you will notice it has two bays with round piers, the arches carved with a zigzag pattern. While the south arcade is similar in having two bays but this time with octantal piers. Once in chancel you can see the shallow basin placed near the called a piscina, this was once used for washing the communion vessels. The windows in the north aisle are really rather lovely and one of them contains some medieval stained glass. Finally the font dates to the fifteenth century which makes it about the same age as the tower.

There are loads of litle things that make you think back to how the church such as the lighting. Above the nave candle holder sits high in the air complete with six candles while above the pulpit there is an angles electric light with an old oil lamp behind it complete with it's glass shade. As you enter the church you will notice two stone lions believed to be medieval which guard the entrance to the church. While in the grave yard is the tomb of Thomas Hotchkin who made his wealth from plantations and slave trading in the West Indies and died in 1774. There are loads of charming features about this little bit of Englidh Heritage. 

There are churches all around us and I think we often miss how important these building are. May be this is because we are not religious like we once were or that we just fail to see these building as the center of a communities life like they once were in the past. I look at my own village and the exhibition that was on last weekend and I can see how even today that these building can bring people together as a community. May be we have a lot to learn sometimes from the past that we should take forward into the future. 

If you have a church near you just pop in and learn about it. It just might might surprise you. They might have been built for worship but they are part of our heritage just any stately home and unlike them they were accessible by everyone and still are. It might sound like a boring thing to do, but it better than being stuck in front of the television or a computer. There is a lot beauty in the world if you just care to look for it. 

20,000 Views

Here we are at another milestone for the Blog. Over twenty thousand views since this blog since it was started on the first of May last year. For those of you that like numbers that is an average of over fourteen hundred page views per month. At one point the page view count was higher and at others lower. Now things seem to have settled down at around the two thousand a month point.

A lot has changed since that first post and sometimes it interesting to read back to some of the earlier posts to see how life has moved on. There are still some posts missing from way back then but now and again I get the time to finish those that were started but never finished. Currently I'm a little behind in the more recent posts but with the coming of the holidays those will soon be done if life doesn't get in the way, but as you know there is a lot going on at the moment and being stressed doesn't help the writing process. 

Finally I would like to thank the people that have told me they come back to the site time and time again. I feel humble that you find time to read a blog that I started to remind me of all the things I do when the girls are together. For me it all part of a healing process and although I can't write about everything I'm starting at last to feel more free to write about things that are important in my life.

Friday without Lucy

I'm starting to miss seeing Lucy but there is nothing I can do about and that is a fact. I just don't have the money to get her from Leicester and take her back. I'm grateful for all the flexibility in seeing her that has been offered but at the moment I can only assume that there is still no compromise on the driving so it looks like this state of affairs will continue for a while.

It is just a shame we don't communicate, although I'm willing. When I told Lucy's mummy that I couldn't pick her up, via a text sent from the home phone, I just got a text back saying "ok". I felt like replying "that it is far from ok, it's a bloody mess". In the end I stopped myself. 

I just hope we can find a way forward, after all there is a common interest in all this, Lucy. It is just going to take some time to workout. There must be a solution that works and that is fair. Clearly, I will never get the unaltered access I had to Lucy while she is 25 miles away. It is just not practical since two round trips to Leicester is nearly 3 hours driving in a single day. However, we should be able to get something close in the end if we work at it.

Of course I will probably be taking all the blame for this, but I'm use to that now. I know some of the things that have been said about me and I know they are far from fair, but at least I understand reasoning behind it all and I have the power to forgive. 

I won't bother saying how I feel about all this because I bet you can guess. At the end of the day all I want to do is to be able to see my daughter and look after the other people I care about. It is simple really. I never wanted this and I wasn't the only one that messed it up, but I know that you have to know when to say sorry for what you have done wrong.