Happy Birthday Lucy

Been a long time since I posted a blog post, but it seems traditional that I do it on little Lucy's Birthday.

I hope she has a smashing birthday and she knows I love her to bit as do everyone one here. One day she might read this blog. I hope she does because it is full of her memories too.

Catherine's Birthday

What a contrast to the weather eleven years ago. Today it was cold and grey and back then when I was awoken from a call from the hospital in the early hours of the morning the skies were blue and the day warm and sunny. It is not the sort of day you forget and by seven thirty that morning I was holding a little girl in my arms not really knowing what to do with her. One thing was for sure was as I looked her I was so so happy.

Normally we would have had Lucy but with the move, financially that wasn't a possibility, the budget having been stretched already things are harder than they have ever been. So for me it has been rather a dull and empty day compared with the Tuesdays of the past.

Catherine made the most of her day. She wanted money this year and she has managed to get just enough to buy a android tablet, the one thing she wanted. She is so excited about getting it. All we need to do now is get it ordered for her and she will have internet access without having to use one of the old desktop computers. Catherine is getting so grown up now and it seems the time of toys is now long gone.

We were going to have a birthday dinner, but without Lucy it seemed better to wait and to save the a little money for later in the week. In the end I let Catherine choose the dinner and I brought her cake for pudding so at least she could have some candles. Hopefully as soon we have Lucy again I can bake a cake and we can have a late birthday dinner for Catherine with all her sisters together.

Lots of things have happened over those eleven years that Catherine has been with us and so much has changed. If you asked me as I held that little bundle of joy in my arms things would things be like they are now I would never have believed you. So much has happened that it would fill more than one book. It is strange what happens in life and their is no certainty in things turning out the way you want them. Like they the poem by Robert Burns says "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft agley.". You just have to look at my more recent life to see that and the situation with little Lucy who was meant to unite what is now a split family.

Lucy Turns Three

This is one of three special days for me. It is the day that Lucy turns three. I will always remember being there when she was born and before. I will never forget Hamish who put at ease with his banter and jokes. If it was a boy I swear Lucy might have ended up been called Hamish although her name was meant have been George by choice, we were so taken with him. I will always remember her being born. I can still see her in my arms when she was born and I remember when I got her to the ward I pushed her into the sunlight and welcomed her to the world. I can even remember giving her her first meal, her mummy was on a side ward recovering because she had a heart murmur, which thankfully turned out to be nothing to worry about. At one point the nurse said I could leave her and rest and I just didn't want to go. She was so perfect and so beautiful. I just wanted to look at her and never stop. Those moments and many more will be with me until I die.

There aren't many pictures from that time for some reason that I don't understand but she was such a joy after all we had been through that year and was she was hope of something special and better times for ahead. She united everybody and made us a family unit. It was something we worked on so hard on with the three girls and now there was a physical bond to go with the mental one we created, but she was more than that she was beautiful beyond words. And now to think she is three and how far she has come is just amazing. She is one of my princesses and I love her with all my heart.

And today she is three and this blog post is about her birthday and the fun she had and the things we did rather than the memories of times gone by. It is about the present and of happy times to be had and to come. 

Over night I had built her dolls house which was her main present and we put in the furniture so it looked just like a real house. We even put the adult dolls in the living room and the children in their bedroom playing with their toys. I wanted it to be perfect for her and I couldn't wait for her see it. I was probably as excited about her birthday as she was.

The morning was easy with no Catherine to get ready and Emily and I managed to get off to school with loads of time to spare, although to be honest Catherine is no problem in the morning, she just gets on with it. The drive to Oakham and back was nice and clear and Emily and I had a nice chat along the way. Soon I was back home drinking a cup of coffee before having a shave and shower. There was loads of time this morning as Lucy wasn't coming to late. She had people coming to see her at her mummies in the morning to give her cards and presents for her birthday. I had offered the time ages ago because I knew how important birthdays are for everyone in a family.

Once I picked Lucy up we started to talk. She was so excited about her birthday. It was so sweet as she tripped over her words trying to tell me all about the balloons. She even brought one with her. Sometimes I wish the drive was slightly longer so we could chat for even longer and today was one of those days.

When we got home I directed her to her bedroom, passing the presents and cards that were on the dinning room table for her. Her face was a real picture when she saw the dolls house. She was so quick to remark how it was like the one that Mary has and I'm sure it made her feel so grown up from just how she was talking about it. I know Emily and Catherine use to love playing with that dolls house and I know they will do the same with this one with Lucy. Soon Lucy had the house open and was playing with the dolls and moving things around. Her imagination went into overtime especially when she found the car that could take the little people on trips. I just wondered how long before I am required to started filling it with petrol and pretend to fix it when it goes wrong.

Eventually she came downstairs to open the other presents and the cards that my family had sent her and those from all of us here. The presents were many. Little things that Emily had brought her, money from relatives and some lovely clothes and a beautiful coat. She just loved opening them it was a shame it had to come to an end when the last one was opened. She was loving it so much I know from what she said she didn't want to stop. 

The whole day was spent playing with her new things. Nothing could stop her from having fun  just the way it should be on a Birthday. The clothes fitted a treat while still having the room to grow so that she will get lots of use out of them before they become to small. It lovely to have a happy child and she is always that and reminds me so much of Emily at the same age, always ready to smile and have some fun. I love her to bits.

Eventually it was time to go and get Emily from school. She had saved one of her presents until she saw her and had hidden it in the bedroom, but before that happened there was time to visit the park. It wasn't the warmest of days and not sunny as it was the day she was born but it was warm enough and dry enough to have some fun in the playground while we waited for Emily to come out of school. When she did turn up she got one of Lucy special welcomes and as soon told about the dolls house and the other things that she got and she was wearing.

When they got home Emily gave her present and Lucy began to play with it with her. As Emily got changed in her school home Lucy followed up the stairs and soon I heard Lucy calling her to her bedroom to play with the dolls house. It wasn't long before I heard Lucy bossing her about as they played together while I got her birthday dinner ready.

It wasn't long before we were all settling down at the table for Lucy's Birthday dinner. It wasn't a big affair and we were all missing Catherine, but there was enough food for everyone and a few more. We all tucked in and soon a lot of the food was gone. It then came time for the cake. We all sung her happy birthday before blowing out her birthday cake candles, again and again and again. There was hardly anything left to burn on the candles by the time we had finished. That is the joy of being three I guess.

They was a little time left for Lucy to play with Emily but I wished there was more. Soon I was getting her ready to return to Oakham and I had to concentrate on my work for tomorrow. I didn't want this day to end just like moments when she was born. All the time we have is precious with our children as the grow up so fast. 

I had a lovely day with Lucy and she seemed to have a lovely birthday too. It will probably be a few years before I have her on on her birthday again and that is something I have to put up with. I just hope she knows it wasn't what I ever wanted for her. It wasn't what I wanted for any of them. Emily in the same boat and won't see her mum to well after her birthday this year.

Finally Lucy loved getting presents on her birthday but there is one thing better and that is love with can give all the time. There is one thing I have learnt over the last year is that people can't take your love away when it is unconditional, as it is something you give and which they decided to accept or reject but they can't stop you giving it and being there for them, that is the sort of love you have for the people that really matter too you. The sort of love you have for your children and those you feel close to. It is a wonderful thing and I hope my children learn that sort of love in terms of both giving and receiving in their lives. I know that giving it is the best present you can give anyone and you can give it for every moment of your life. If I can teach my children just one thing it is that love is the most important thing in the world and when things are hard never give up on it for it is the greatest power on Earth.