Year of Contrasts

In the final moments of 2011 it is a time to look back at the year gone by. Like all years it had it highs and lows and it has been be full of contrasting emotions and frustrations mixed with times of happiness and contentment.

The low points there was Lucy moving, the loss of access that caused and the extra expense that has caused then there was the feeling of melancholy over Christmas and the general feeling of being cut out of Lucy's life for the last six months, to the extent I don't know who her doctor is or even what nursery she goes too. It is not the life I wanted, made or planned for her. I just hope things get better in the new year and there is not more hurt and pain coming my way.

The times have been at there best when I have the people I love around me and we are able to get out and about. All the trips I have made to the local parks with Lucy and with Emily and Catherine. Seeing Catherine on stage at last in the year six school play before she left to go to secondary school. Taking Emily and Catherine to Duxford to see the aeroplanes at the there and taking them all to gokidsgo! Leicester and riding on the bumper cars with Lucy. Then there was a weekend in June, before Lucy's mummy moved, when we went to a toy exhibition, played in the park and watched a local polo match at the polo field in the warm summer sun. That was one of those days in the summer when the world seemed beautiful. The moments like that have been truly wonderful. Then there is all the other smaller trips out like seeing the trains in the spring sunshine and sitting around Rutland water during a autumn heatwave. All fun. There are just too many moments to mention. I have had some amazing times with everyone.

Then there are the moments of just natural beauty that surround where I live. The picturesque countryside as it changes from one session to another. The magnificent sunsets and sunrises a few of which have been outstanding. The variety of wildlife we have seen on our travels, especially bird life which have included sightings of peregrine falcons, barn owls, little owls, sparrow hawks, kestrels and countless types of small birds some of which I have never seen before. It has been really a great year in many ways and this is enhanced when I see some of the wildlife with the girls.

Finally there are my friends and the people that have been there for me and sometimes I have been there for in return. Those that have been understanding and supported me. To them I want to say a big thank you. 

For the coming year I hope it is going to be full of happiness. I pray that I will get to see more of Lucy before she goes to school in the autumn so the girls can have more time together. I don't want more lows like I have had this year, Lucy's mummy moving hit me hard. I can do without the hurt and the pain that they have brought me. I need to repair my soul and not have it broken any more. I could do with the promises of the past being fulfilled and it being filled understanding, but most of all I want it to be a year I can say, this time next year, has been one of the best in years.