I know I'm not a bad person. I will do what I can to help anyone in this world but sometimes things aren't possible all the time. I don't have infinite amounts of money in fact I have next to none. The things I do have lots of is love and understanding, especially for those who are closest to me.
In the past I have had my children when their mums have been unwell when it not my day to have them, I have looked after other peoples children for others , and done everything around the home and for the children when people were sick for months on end including cooking and buying special foods. For the people I have worked with I have always been there for them and I do what I can to help. I still offer to help everyone in any way I can because I care about people, especially those I hold in high regard. But where does that get you in the end? Some of those people either start to use you without a word of thanks, or worse they use you and while conducting some kind of smear campaign behind your back. You do your best and it feels like you are being taken advantage of or just plain used and all you want is a little understanding.
Well it can't go on, people have to understand each other and have empathy with each other. I have over the years learnt to think of others before myself, it is part of my work and part of me. You have to live your life getting on with other people and that sometimes means you have to listen to them and be listened too in return. I'm as ways ready to listen, and speak openly, but I want to be understood in return. I care about people so much that I have seen things and been through things only others can imagine, some shocking, and every time I have understood and been there for them, sometimes when others would have given up. I still do it now and always will because I do really care.
But, maybe it is time they repaid what I have done for them. It is time for people to think of my position for a change, just as I think about theirs. In lots of cases we care about the same things and it is not like I dislike like them at all.
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31 comments:
Not sure what has caused this, but I know you will do anything for anyone from experience and I know what you have done for your family.
Just everything, but it sometimes best to get things out rather than bottle them up.
Sure it is everything?
Well there is one thing, but I can't mention it here. Too public.
Let's play guess who!
Lets's not......
Boring
No, it would just be pointless and wouldn't help, but then again nothing can.
You need to talk and get your feelings across, so she knows how you feel, hopefully without her underlying anger getting in the way.
You are right about talking. I would love to sort it out without the anger. That should have been done ages and ages ago, but there rules against that sort of thing apparently and so it has never happened. I fear it never will and it will always be like this, if not worse.
Rules like that are ridiculous and stupid. It is not normal not to talk, especially when children are involved. Talking is essential.
I tend to agree with the last comment.
I agree too, that it is all so stupid. It makes no logical sense. Mediation might be the way to go after all. It is something I have thought about.
Will it help?
Not really, nothing will. There isn't a real solution because the dialogue that needs to take place can't happen at the moment.
Sounds like a royal mess.
You could say that, and it is not going to get better, until things change. If they can change.
Will they change?
I have been reading the blog and it all seems so silly to me that you are in this position. You care and love your children and your family. The way things have ended up is not what you wanted or expected, through no fault of your own in many instances.
Talking is the right approach but like the other people that have commented here I don't know how you can make this happen. You clearly have wanted to talk and listen from the start, but it takes two people to have a conversation and that isn't happening.
It seems feelings are being buried and hidden rather than being discussed and acknowledged. It is all such a shame it has ended up like this.
I don't know if they will change, that isn't up to me. I will always be there for the people that matter to me. I just want to make them happy as I can, while at the time having my feelings understood.
Eve, thank you for your long post. I don't know what to say, but you seem to have summed up my view well. I care about people and this isn't what I ever wanted at all.
May be they just don't know where or how to start because they think it is too late?
I don't know, but it is never too late. Personally I have never been more certain about anything in my life than about how I feel.
I understand that felling of not knowing where to start. I don't think I do, but that shouldn't stop anyone from finding a way. I guess, you start tentatively once you have established a communication channel and take everything slowly and rebuild the trust that once existed.
There must be away forward, it can't go on like this forever. It seems I just have to wait for a exchange to takes place, while knowing and understanding it is going to take a lots of courage and openness to get to a point where things get better.
It worries me that I thought knew someone so well and believed that we would always be able to talk and we end up at a situation like this. If the dialogue had happened when it needed too then things wouldn't be the way they are, but instead, by creating brick walls the issues remain unresolved and things just get worse.
Nobody has anything to fear from talking. I'm not out to hurt anyone, because I know so well what it like to be hurt, I just want to make things better and be listened too with understanding, while doing the same thing in return. By having that dialogue I can hopefully make people feel happier and better than they are now.
Hope you manage it to get your message across and it doesn't take a lifetime. Your feelings are clearly very strong for the people you care for. It would be such a shame if things remained as they are at the moment.
You can only be true to your heart at the end of the day and go with what you believe in.
It will sort it self out, even if you have to wait. You just need faith to get there. You will get your message across, if you haven't already.
You are passionate about this, it clearly means a lot. I hope it all comes right.
It is sad today that some people find it hard to be open and listen. It is all to easy to hide things away or twist them rather than talking about them. Your frustration is evident from the fact you wrote this entry at all, but until the situation that prompted this post improves then your basically stuck.
Thank you all. I just want to get my message across. I just hope that one day someone wants to listen to a conversation that should have happened ages ago. I'm ready to listen and be open and all I can pray is one day that happens before it is all too late. I will always be ready to listen. Hopefully a communication channel will open up that allows that to happen. That is out of my hands, be if it does I will do my best to make sure that the things that matter are said. I can wait and I will wait because some things in life are worth it,
As for the last poster you are right, I am frustrated by it all. It is like what what happened in the past has been twisted, changed and then buried. The truth has been lost in telling, not for bad reasons, but in order to protect and justify the past. There is nothing I can do about that but say I care and I always have and will.
When you know something is so important and you believe in it then you have go with it. You might never get back to where you were but you can hope that you create something better.
You will get your message across, but have you thought it might be a bit late?
Don't get frustrated it won't help. Just get on with life and rebuild the damage along the way.
Who knows if anything is too late, unless you are prepared to stick it you will never know.
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