No Time at All

After having all the girls here for the weekend and Emily and Catherine at home on Monday it seemed odd not having any children here after half past eight in the morning.  It meant the morning dragged and afternoon just flew by after Lucy arrived as loads of little thing cropped up.

It was lovely and sunny when I woke up again this morning but once again the cold wind seemed to indicate that temperatures weren't going to sore to those we had at the end of April. In fact it turned out it was rather on the chilly side if you were out of the sun. The first part of the morning went to plan. Emily went off to get a lift to school with Charlie and Catharine after making her own lunch set off for school. 

With them both out of the way I settled down with a nice cup of coffee and sat and thought about events of the past week, trying to workout what is going on. Giving up on getting any answers I set about doing a bit of housework between looking at the news and checking and posting my blog. There are still some posts to finish. I guess they will get done when time allows.

This all took me nicely to noon when I headed out to get Lucy from her nursery. As soon as she saw me and made it through the gate her little arms went up for a cuddle. In my arms we walked to the car. She only let me put her down when we got to the car when she climbed into her seat and waited to be strapped in. On the way home we chatted, for all of the short journey to the house, she wass telling us whet she has done over the last few days that she could remember. 

Soon we were home and the afternoon really had begun after lunch, but unfortunately the question of having enough money to get through the week needed sorting out too. There just wasn't enough money to feed us all. Things are that bad after losing some work the month that couldn't be helped. It is at time like these I wish I worked full time, but then Emily, Catherine and myself wouldn't see Lucy as much and that is the compromise and the price we all pay.

So the afternoon was mainly spent sorting out the money problems, finding Lucy things to do and playing with her as much as I could between phone calls as well as working out some kind of food and fuel budget that would keep spending to a minimum. One things was for sure is that there will be no heating, so lets hope the weather improves. Still even without gas there wasn't enough for anything other than one more day's of food.

Over the course of the afternoon we managed to source some money so we had enough for food and fuel for me to get to work and limited electricity. With that money we all popped off to the supermarket to buy what food we could afford. Lucy fell asleep on the way. She must have been really tired. Thankfully everything came in on budget and although there was much choice in food at least we would have something to eat. It amazes me how people think I have money. I don't know where they get that idea from. Having money is just a dream that is going to have to wait for now.

When we got home there was only minutes left with Lucy on my own before Catherine came home. I tried to make the most of them but it felt like she had been here no time at all and I hadn't got to play with her although she seemed happy enough doing her own thing with a little help. She loved doing some drawing I set her off on at one point. She was drawing pictures of me with a head, arms, legs and no body. It is funny how they do that. It shows what they visually focus on at that her age. Emily and Catherine use to do the same thing.

With Catherine back home from school she started playing with Lucy and Emily joined them as soon as she got it. While they got on with playing and going to the park, I got on with dinner for the three of them and soon they were all sitting at the table eating dinner together. The had a grand time as always until it was time for Lucy to go back to Oakham. 

After her cuddles and kisses we departed the house with sweets in hand and I drove her back chatting as we went. Once we got to the door Lucy gave me a big cuddle and a kiss, the door was opened and after a few muttered words, I didn't catch, Lucy was gone again until Friday. I felt really emotional fifteen minutes afterwards and I'm not sure why.

The afternoon was so rushed. I value every minute I have with my family and I hate seeing other things getting in the way. I know that happens but I still don't like it. I feel in Lucy's case, in particular, guilty that I don't see her everyday, given she is still so young. That feeling hasn't gone away since her mummy left. I guess, I know how it feels to be Emily and Catherine;s mum now. It is not easy when you believe that families, and that extended family members should work together for the good of the children. All I can do is the best I can and not give up, and I never give up.