Tired Start to the Day that Wasn't

I would have sad normally it was a lovely day when I woke up. Well it was true that it was a lovely morning, but wake up isn't really what I did. I haven't slept properly for the last few nights. Then when I have I had the same dreams over and over again, which is strange for I haven't dreamt in ages. Last night I just tossed and turned and watched the clock by the bed ticking off the hours. I did get off, but there is so much rushing through my mind it wasn't until after the sun was already lighting up the day.

In the end, the day for me started at half past seven when I was awoken by Emily. She had a really bad headache and she was generally felling run down. She is not one for giving up and she got ready for school but in the end the headache beat her and I called the school and she went back to bed. The paracetamol she had taken just hadn't touched it. It was a shame really because I know that tuesday is her favorite day at school. Thankfully Catherine was fine and went off to school as normal after a bit of chat and her breakfast.

In the morning I started working on the blog again. I really can't get motivated to write at the moment. It is so strange because normally writing the blog isn't the problem, it is finding the time to do it in. Now it seems I have the time but writing it just won't flow out of me. It's like a writers block. In the end I managed a bit of writing and decided the only way to get this post done was to write as much as I could throughout the day. That way I hope I won't notice I'm actually writing it as such.

At noon, just as the showers started blowing in, I went to pickup Lucy as normal. I felt a right fool when I arrived to find she wasn't there. I just didn't know what to say nor did the nursery worker who didn't have a clue where she was. I don't like think what she thought of it all. I hadn't heard anything, but without a phone charger lead and no credit on the phone, there was no way I was ever going to get a text. I can't even turn the mobile phone on. I just don't know why Lucy's mummy hadn't emailed me, after all it is not like she doesn't have my email address or my home phone number, for that matter. It's not like I hadn't told her about the text situation. This has all got so childish, it feels like I'm dealing with a teenager at the moment. How we will ever workout the access when Lucy moves at the end of the month is beyond me. I know we will get there, but not how we will manage it.

With no Lucy for the afternoon at least got a little of the sleep back I lost in the night and I managed to write a little more of one of the missing posts, although the progress was slow and labored. And of course, I continued to add to this post as the day went on. It certainly proving easier than heaving to go back when you just don't feel like doing anything much. At around three thirty Catherine came home and the first thing she asked was where was Lucy. To say she was disappointed was a understatement. Her face just dropped and she went to get changed and find Emily. She was far from happy.

Just before five we headed out to Oakham to visit the Dentist. Emily has been having trouble with over crowding and a check up was needed for both of them. Unfortunately both of them need to go back for some minor work because they have milk teeth that haven't come out cleanly. Also Emily needs to go to the Orthodontist, something that should have happened two years ago, but for some reason this didn't happen. All I remember I was working at the time of the appointment. Anyway, it was just a shame about the weather, there was no improvement all afternoon. It would have been nice to combine it with a trip to park to make up for everything. As it was we didn't even get to do that.

With Dentist out of the way it was back home to have dinner. Something everyone seemed to be looking forward to. It was just quieter than a normal tuesday at the table without little Miss Chatterbox at the table making everyone smile. After dinner Emily and Catherine got on with their own thing. Emily was playing the game she loves on the computer while Catherine caught up with Eastenders. Taking to Catherine, she is enjoying her rest after her year six tests. Having no homework other than learning lines for the year six end of year play is going down well with her and she is really looking forward to the school trips she has to come. Eventually time moves on and it was bedtime and soon they were both tucked up in bed, sleeping until another day.

It wasn't a good day. All I can assume is that Lucy was poorly. I wouldn't imagine she wouldn't be at nursery for any other reason than that. It would just have been nice to have known. Even a message left for me there would have been better than not knowing anything. I just hope she is alright, and if she is ill that she hasn't spread what ever she has to everyone else. I know her mummy wouldn't have not sent without good reason. It's just the lack of communication it's more than a concern now, it's very worrying. How we ended up here I will never never ever understand. It's not like I dislike her. It's makes no sense, none of it does, or ever has done. What is sad is I will be blamed for all that happened as I always do. I sometimes I just feel like a scapegoat. I'm just glad it's not like this with other person I share children with.

Finally, thankfully for Emily things improved for her after a good sleep, and although she is not right she should be able to go to school in the morning. I have just been amazed how we all missed Lucy.