History

History is such a funny thing. It something we all have and carry around with us. Only we know the true events that have happened in our lives and the truth behind them. We can decide if we reveal that truth or hide it behind some smoke screen. We can also change history in our minds to fit a new purpose in life or in some cases have that history changed for us so we lose sight of real events. Our own history stays with us and there is no point hiding it because it is always there. You just have to deal with the past, learn from it and walk into the future know what the truth is. Then there are the bits you hide that sometimes others piece together like building a giant jigsaw to explain there own past.

Sometimes I feel like I am still building a bits of a jigsaw to workout what happened in my own life so far. Bits appear and I put them together to form the picture of the truth. It's not about discovering falsehoods, they are often known, but the reasons behind them that help you explain your own history and those that you come in contact with. This harder for me than most because part of my history doesn't seem to exist. It is like it was taken away form me and is lost in some kind of cloud. Only the major events exist and peak out through clouds like mountain tops. I feel like the wind trying to blow those clouds away but sometimes they won't move, it is like they are tethered to the earth. If you concentrate one thing that becomes the mountain top and the truth gets hidden in the clouds if you are not careful.

Even when you look at your own history you can see the complexities the subject holds. You can see why people study it and the fascination it holds for them. For even in your own history sometimes others know the motivation for your actions and without knowing that and looking at the whole picture your perception and that others can be changed and the truth lost. It is that truth that historians try to discover and sometimes it is that same thing we must discover in ourselves to take use into the future.