I don't know what to say, Lucy is moving away. The one thing I thought would never happen is that she would be leaving Rutland. She is moving to Leicester.
There is nothing I can do about it. I'm gutted to be honest. It's like some just blew part of my world apart and what I wanted for Lucy and have for Emily and Catherine is being denied her. I was so happy to move out of Leeds and come to Rutland and buy a cottage in the country we dreamed off. I did it with joy. It was the best thing that I had done in my life. It was what I always wanted for my children to be brought up in a place where I didn't have to worry who or what they might encounter on the streets of the city. I knew by living in the countryside I could give them the freedom that children need to grow without the worry about what might happen to them. I also knew here they would get a better education and start in life than in any city.
I was told that Leicester was such a dive and we never went there because of that, preferring to go to the other large cities in the area if we need to. Now is Lucy moving away from this beautiful green countryside into a city with it's grey ex-council estates. It is just such a shock.
Anyone that even remotely knows me or has just read this blog will know how much I love Rutland and care about it. I have fallen in love with it and this where I want my family to grow up. Safe in the knowledge they come from one of the most beautiful and unspoiled places in England. It is what I want for all of them.
I knew there was something wrong when I dropped her off. I could just feel something was up. It seeping through my every being. I just didn't know it was going to be a bombshell like this.
I have been told it wouldn't affect contact but the reality is that I don't have the money to be going to Leicester and back four times a week. That is thirty plus pounds I don't have and I haven't got a clue were I can find the money and then there is the time with her that I will lose traveling. Anyone that read the recent posts will know that. How I'm going to do this I don't know.
I can't describe how I feel about all this. I'm just a bag of mixed emotions. all of them bad. I don't want Lucy to be brought up in a city. It is not why I moved to the country. It just not the place to bring kids up. They need space and fresh air to grow and become people.
Lucy had the chance to have that life and it feels like it is being taken away from her. I don't want it for her. I'm just passionate about bringing my children up in the best place possible. I won't give that belief up for anyone. I just want what is best for my children. Who would give that up. I don't want any of this, never did and still don't. Never in a million years.
[Edited 10 April 2010]
8 comments:
I am so sorry this is happening Roy. Is there a court order or anything that has both of you as legal parents of Lucy? If so, do you not have to say it is ok for her to move away?
My heart went out to you when I read this, I know you are so cut up over this. Your girls are your life. I truly hope there is a way for this to be worked out
karen
Me too, it is the last thing I wanted for Lucy. I always thought she would grow up in Rutland. I know I'm not the only one that loves this place, so what is happening doesn't make sense. It is best for her to stay around all her family, just not for me and Emily and Catherine but for Lucy. LIving here in the county is wonderful you get such a better feel for nature and your surroundings, but more than that it feels safe.
As for the legal route, I don't have the money to go there unless I had to and I don't feel I need to. I hope that is always the case. I know that route is open to me but taking it would make things worse and I don't want that. It is a last resort that I hope I never have to take, but saying I would give up everything I own for any of my children.
All I want is for Lucy to grow up in Rutland and to see as much of all her family and sisters as possible. For example I would still love for her to follow in Emily and Catherine's footsteps and go to the village school with her cousin, but sadly that will never happen. I want her to feel that we aren't two families at war. I want that which was promised in the past to be fulfilled. It is not hard it just take courage to get there and to accept the past and the truth.
Like you I hope there is away out of this mess, but I just don't see it at the moment. It would take such a big change and improvement in communication. Mediation would be a way forward as it would get us to talk but I don't have the money for that. The method we use now is hardly useful in getting your point across or having that point even considered. You can't discuss things just by text.
I feel this has been thrust upon me and I can't do anything about it. I didn't have input. I was just told and it has been the same with other things to with Lucy. I love my daughters and I want to take an active role in all their lives because of that, I feel excluded.
What is happening hurts because I although I was warned, and the blame was put on me, I thought this was one thing that would never have happen because of what said in the past.
All I can hope now is that her Mother wants to return to Rutland as much as she did when she was with me. I managed to help her do that I hope that happens again.
I feel for you. I can see how much you love your family and how this is hurting you.
We push people away that we love most and then we runaway. We damage all we had with them and in the end we shut down and turn on them. Blaming them for everything so that we can feel free of guilt. We burry the past in boxes marked do not open and leave it behind us. It''s not that we don't love them it's just a way to protect ourselves.
I know I have done this in the past. It is only now that this has been explained to me that I can see it is something I do.
I wish you luck and pray things improve for you.
Yes it hurts and It is hard but there is nothing I can do. Thank you for understanding and good luck.
There was nothing wrong with the original, so why edit it?
I was asked too by somebody who was upset by the post,
Any news on this yet?
No, not yet
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